My Real Superhero.

Bismillahirahmanirrahim, on the 14 september 2019, mama need to replaced my aunty's turn to take care of tokbah since my aunty is not feeling well. that night she feel a bit awkward and scared but i didnt knew that. That night, i had a dreamed that mama cried and called my name. i awake and checked my phone and i got missed call and message from whatsapp family that mama told me tokbah had passed away at 5:15am in the morning. I'm awake at 5:30. I wake my sister from sleep. luckily we are all together that night excape for my second brother. I called my brother but he didnt answered. idk what to do but calling my bestfriend khalisya to let her know. i can't even talked that night. i'm totally lost.

On the 15 september 2019, we performed subuh prayer and straight away go to the hospital. i will remember that day untill forever, the most painful day for me to lost the person i love for the rest of my life. i can't stop crying and my sister hold my hand and my brother calmed me down. when we reached there, i'm really shocked to see tokbah's face. he is really calmed but he look so pale. on that day you told us and promised to come home that day, i can't believe that you really did come "home". hard to believe that you are gone. i've checked your breath repeatedly cause you look like you're sleeping.

i witnessed everything how it goes. from the ward and transfer to bilik mayat untuk mandikan tokbah untill everything settled. i was there. i cant imagine it was the last day we can met. and bila solat jenazah, i cant stop myself from crying imagined that was the last day i can see his face. But we satisfied that our family managed to do all that for you. my eldest brother lead for solat jenazah and zohor prayers.

i left my phone at home, and once i reached home, i checked my phone and there's a lot of people giving me motivation. but i just cant reply to each of them but instead of that, i deactivated my instagram and away from all social media that time just to get myself together again.

rehatlah tokbah, you are a true fighter. now it's time for you to rest. you will lived in our memories.

Ya allah, tempatkanlah arwah tokbah, Abdul hamid bin omar di kalangan orang orang yang beriman. ampunilah dosanya, tempatkanlah dia di kalangan orang orang yang beriman. Jadikanlah syurga menjadi tempat perjumpaan kami semua. Amin ya Rabb. Al-ftihah.

love, qistin.